[Snippet] Curiosity is not a sin – Chapter 16

Hi, everyone! I’m finally back, and the next update is coming soon!

This chapter is another long but fun one. A lot of you were curious to know what was going on inside Gawin’s head, so here you go!

I consider this chapter an interlude, a little pause to see the story from a different perspective before we move into a new story arc.

The hardest part of writing it was, of course, switching to Gawin’s POV and giving him a distinctive voice. I wonder if you’ll spot the differences… Maybe they won’t be as obvious in this scene, but I think I did a pretty good job in the others.

Some of the earlier chapters were written over a year ago, so it felt like digging through old archives!

I hope you’ll enjoy this little glimpse into Gawin’s mind.

Gawin eyed the offered business card blankly.

P’Peng, a short man with a round face and an amicable smile, pushed it into his hands.

If you had asked Gawin Caskey a few years ago what he’d do for a living, he would have said he had no idea. After graduating high school, he left the dreary Pennsylvania weather behind for sunny Bangkok – for home. Gawin pondered his next step for a while, unable to find an answer.

Yet, without a plan, Gawin had booked a plane back to the Land of Smiles.

The States were great, but Thailand was where he belonged, and his heart and bones ached to go back.

After a few months of idling, fully settled back into the country he loved, Gawin got a job in a theatre as a ticket collector and usher. The money was easy, and Gawin enjoyed sneaking into the movie rooms to laugh, gasp, and cry with the other spectators every chance he got.

“This job is temporary,” he told himself as the months went by. He was taking a gap year to figure out his next move. Sure, he had considered pursuing studies to join a prestigious company or start a business. Maybe he’d get a boring 9-to-5 job with a good salary. Perhaps, with a bit of luck, it would be at a company related to the arts, movies, or better yet, music. He’d start a band on the side, play guitar with his friends on weekends, and, if he was still brave enough, try to book a few gigs at bars to let his passion burn.

That plan wasn’t a terrible option, but it wasn’t great either, and whenever Gawin thought about living this life, uneasiness rose inside of him.

Becoming an actor was never part of his plans.

Gawin caught his reflection in the glass of a vending machine: shaggy, too-long brown hair, a dull complexion from too many sleepless nights, and a wrinkled blue uniform.

Did he really have what it took to become an actor?

Curiosity had been too strong, and a week later, he was enrolling in an intensive acting training.

The first few months had been rough, and Gawin had considered quitting more than a few times.

The scout had told him he was good-looking, that he had the stature to become a celebrity, but having a pretty face wasn’t enough. Gawin had felt so stupid saying lines for the first time, attempting to showcase emotions that weren’t his own. However, his professors kept telling him he had potential, so Gawin worked harder and progressively got better.

Success hadn’t come overnight, but the way Gawin saw himself and the world had done a 180.

A world of possibilities was opening up to him, and it felt as unreal as it was breathtaking.

Soon, he was doing his first photoshoot, starring in his first series with a male co-star, and meeting his first fans. Gawin was having a lot of fun, and though being recognized in the streets had been uncomfortable at first, he slowly got used to his growing fame.

Despite all that, Gawin still wasn’t a fan of crowds, so when he was invited to the 2019 GMMTV Outing, he recoiled at the idea. He barely knew anyone, and being stuck for a whole weekend with a bunch of strangers didn’t sound appealing. Thankfully, some familiar faces would be there too… and Podd. Podd would be there as well. So he figured he’d be alright.

The outing was even wilder than he had expected. Between the crazy challenges, games and parties, Gawin didn’t know which way to turn. But one thing was sure: he was having a lot of fun.

Besides the festivities, the other factor contributing to Gawin’s enjoyment was Podd.

They weren’t a thing, not really. Sometimes they messed around, and Gawin’s chest fluttered a bit when Podd kissed him, but they weren’t anything serious. It had all happened so fast: a rehearsal turned into a passionate kiss, fiction tangled with reality, and two worlds collided.

So far, things were good.

They got along well.

But sometimes, when Podd looked at him, Gawin wondered if he was seeing someone else.

Gawin adjusted his cardboard armor. The fish he had carefully cut out and glued to his helmet kept poking at his glasses. His team, dressed in the same way, had already paraded, and they were watching the other groups, snickering at their silly costumes.

A particular group caught his attention as they advanced to the center of the room, strutting like kings.

They were sporting hideous, bright yellow pants and turquoise mesh tops adorned with golden hems. The color combination shouldn’t have worked, but somehow, it did. All the members of the group were wearing black T-shirts under the blue see-through tops, except for one.

Gawin’s mouth dried.

Everybody knew Joss Wayar was hot. Gawin did, too. He wasn’t blind.

And at this precise moment, the tan, chiseled abs and pecs peeking through the mesh top were doing things to him. Gawin looked away, clearing his throat. It was the mesh. That mesh did things to Gawin’s brain. Why was Joss’ torso glistening like some glazed pastry underneath it? This outfit was supposed to look dorky, so how the hell had he managed to make it look this good?

Jeez, Joss Wayar wasn’t called the Thai Greek God for nothing.

Gawin, even if he wouldn’t admit to any of his friends, was a bit of a fan.

He had watched 3 Will be Free and had been intrigued by this tall, handsome guy with the biceps and the sweet smile. The fact that his mom raved about him every time he appeared on TV didn’t help. Unfortunately, though, they had joined GMMTV around the same time, Gawin and Joss had never had the chance to talk. They weren’t part of the same circles and, to be honest, Gawin didn’t think their personalities would mesh well anyway. Joss looked like a jock, always surrounded by a horde of noisy friends, going to the gym and whatnot. So Gawin’s crush had fizzled out.

However, later that night, as the party was raging, the crowd divided into three groups: the bar pillars, the dancefloor maniacs, and the yappers. Against all odds, Gawin found himself deep in conversation with the latter. He wasn’t sure how it happened, but somehow he ended up following the group to someone’s room and sitting cross-legged on Joss’s bedroom floor.

“Dolphins are super smart, man. They live in communities, have languages, but they sometimes do crazy shit as well,” Joss said enthusiastically but with a little slur. “Sometimes they even kidnap babies. I’m not kidding. They’d catch a baby porpoise to toss it around like a ball! They torture the kid just for entertainment, and once it’s dead, they just toss it. They don’t even eat it!” He looked scandalized, making big gestures with his pointer finger, his cheeks reddened by booze. “Do you know they also chew on toxic pufferfishes to get high? They pass it to each other like a joint. I told you! Crazy shit. They may seem cute like dogs, but you gotta be careful. Dolphins are scary, bro. No better than humans.”

The ten or so people, listening to his story, were barely sober enough to sit upright. One of them gasped too hard, lost his balance, and crashed into someone, sending the group into a drunken uproar.

Joss laughed, a cute little sound, his dimples showing.

Gawin felt his mouth stretch into a smile as well.

Joss, not deterred by the interruption, then proceeded to talk about the intricacies of dolphins’ communication systems and hierarchy.

Gawin leaned forward, listening attentively. He knew some of those facts already, but there was something about the way Joss talked, about the way he said things that seized his attention.

A hand, warm and purposeful, landed on Gawin’s thigh.

Podd, who was sitting next to him, leaned close and whispered, “Do you wanna get out of here?”

Meeting the other man’s heated gaze, Gawin forgot all about sea mammals.

When they sneaked out, Joss was still talking about the sea.

Podd linked their fingers and pulled him towards his own room for another kind of diving.