The corridor was dark as he climbed the stairs with heavy steps. Outside, the garden lay under a blanket of gloom, yet he could see as clearly as if it were daytime. His shirt was torn during their escape, blood splattered across the white collar. But he paid no mind to the pain, the chill of the night, or the fear gripping his bones. His focus was solely on the treasure cradled against his chest: The Golden Blood.
The young man was unconscious, his face bruised, his bottom lip split open, a red pearl glistening on the open wound. The scent was torturous, its sweetness flooding the vampire’s senses with every breath. All his instincts urged him to take that young man for himself, to catch the crimson elixir seeping from the boy’s lip with the tip of his tongue, to suck every drop, to bask in its wondrous powers.
Tearing his gaze away from the temptation, the vampire steeled his mind. His mission was to protect the Golden Blood, not to harm him. He needed to put the boy to safety.
He reached the top of the stairs and stumbled into the bedroom. His legs were on the brink of giving out. He needed blood. Quickly. Or he wouldn’t be able to resist for long.
He laid the young man on the bed, hungry eyes roaming over the human’s frame. He looked so vulnerable, so beautiful, so tempting… Maybe he could take a quick taste. He wouldn’t kill him. He was known for his control. The vampire was certain he could hold back. Just one sip… His fangs almost broke his own skin as he forced his mouth shut. No. He’d made an oath. His mother, the Great Tara, had warned him never to drink the Golden Blood.
The vampire hovered there, battling his thirst, when the young man’s eyes suddenly snapped open. Startled, the vampire stumbled back, but the human was faster. He grabbed the vampire’s open shirt with trembling yet surprisingly strong fingers.
“Mark,” he murmured, pulling him closer.
From this distance, the scent was mind-numbing. His usually dull senses flared. Nothing but that sweet aroma and the drum of the human’s blood pulsing in his veins mattered. The Golden Blood, Tong, drew him closer still, their faces only a bite apart.
With a steady gaze, Tong whispered, “Do it.”
At those two simple words, all Mark’s restraints turned to dust. He crashed his mouth against Tong’s, lips meeting the wound. Mark’s eyes blazed gold at the first drop, fire and desire consuming reason. Tong tasted both like Paradise and sin…
It was divine…
“Cut!”
Joss pulled back and stood, arms hanging awkwardly at his sides, back straight as a rod.
On the bed, Gawin also straightened, waiting patiently as the director reviewed the take with his assistant. He pursed his lips, silent, while a makeup artist applied another layer of gloss to them. When his gaze flickered to Joss, the latter pretended not to notice.
Since the confession, things had been… awkward.
They weren’t on bad terms, far from it. They still saw each other occasionally, even met up once to play basketball. But something between them had changed. Selfishly, Joss was relieved to have finally gotten his feelings off his chest. Gawin, on the other hand, seemed to be struggling under the weight of that truth.
Joss furrowed his brows in focus as Ark explained the next shot: a close-up.
Gawin reclined back on the bed, and Joss climbed over him. Gawin gave him a shy but tight smile before closing his eyes. Joss cleared his stuffy throat, forced his muscles to relax, and waited for the cue.
He had been delighted to see that this time, Gawin was not avoiding him. He was back to his usual quiet and cheeky self, bantering, making Joss laugh, his presence warm and comforting. But sometimes, when Joss caught him off guard, Gawin would look at him with something turbulent behind his shiny eyes. These rare moments didn’t last more than a few seconds, but their scorching intensity lingered on Joss’ skin and thoughts for hours.
Still, when it came to Joss’s love life, nothing was ever easy. Though Gawin didn’t completely avoid him, he shied away from physical contact like a spark afraid of catching fire. Whenever Joss got too close, he’d step away. And when their arms brushed, he’d pull away as if burned. It had been obvious during their basketball match and even more so now that they were supposed to act as lovers.
And it hurt.
“Action!”
At the cue, Joss leaned in, pressed his lips against Gawin’s, disregarding the knot tightening in his stomach.
Gawin’s eyes squeezed shut, his breath trembling as he kissed back.
***
“Here, Uncle Joss. Drink.”
A tiny plastic teacup was placed between his fingers, and Bella looked at him with wide, expectant eyes. The little girl wore a frilly pink dress and heeled shoes several sizes too big. Miso, the family Pomeranian, sat nearby, its small head tilted to the side as it observed the scene.
“Thank you, Princess Bella.”
He took the minuscule cup between two fingers and pretended to sip, the jeweled tiara she had placed on his head almost slipping off in the process.
Beside him, the girl’s father crossed his arms with a pout. He, too, was dressed for the tea party: beaded bracelets on both wrists and an embarrassingly bright blush on his cheeks.
“Don’t I get a drink too? Shouldn’t the King be treated kindly?”
Bella shook her head, replying in the most solemn tone her little voice could muster. “You’re not the King. Uncle Joss is.”
Kevin gaped, offended.
Joss took another invisible sip, smirking.
“Unbelievable. Isn’t this my house? My kingdom?” Kevin went on, gesturing dramatically to the room, but his daughter only giggled. He sighed. “Anyway, Princess Bella, this tea party was beautiful, but I think it’s time for your royal nap…”
He didn’t get to finish his sentence. Bella had already fled, Miso trotting after her.
Kevin looked at Joss with weary eyes.
“Chase her for me? She’s so damn fast.”
Joss set down his cup and removed his crown. They were sitting cross-legged on the living room floor, plastic toys scattered across the rug.
“Nope. Deal with it yourself.”
“You’re a terrible ruler. Aren’t you supposed to help your people?”
Joss pointed at the crown lying on the floor. “I resigned.” He rose to his knees, gathering the toys one by one into a basket. “And look, I’m helping. Just not you.”
Kevin rolled his eyes and left with a groan to find the runaway princess.
Once the floor was clear, Joss sat back against the couch, a heaviness settling in his chest.
Since filming the trailer a few days ago, he hadn’t seen Gawin. Now that the sting had dulled, he could finally think clearly. He’d had suspicions since the arcade, but after the sleepover, there was no doubt: Gawin was attracted to him. Just remembering Gawin’s eyes roaming over his bare skin sent chills up his spine.
And he would have accepted Joss’ advances… if they weren’t partners now.
You’ve gotta be kidding me.
Joss shut his eyes, frustrated. He had worked so hard to make them colleagues, thinking it would bring them closer. Instead, it had become the biggest obstacle between them.
“I can’t do this anymore.” Gawin had said.
And even with Podd out of the picture, the shadow of their past still lingered, a haunting memory.
How was he supposed to get out of this… colleague zone? Partner-zone? Whatever it was, it didn’t make any sense… but somehow it did. Joss was furious at himself for not foreseeing this outcome. Gawin had learned his lesson. Mixing love and work had hurt him once, he wouldn’t risk it again.
Joss groaned, dragging both his hands through his hair. “Now what?” He muttered aloud, tugging at the roots.
What am I supposed to do? Give up?
“Are you talking to me?”
Kevin’s voice startled him. Joss hadn’t heard him come back. He stood in the doorway, arms crossed and looking at Joss like he had grown a second head. Miso had plopped down at Joss’ feet, dark eyes full of judgment.
Even the dog thinks I’ve lost it.
“What’s wrong with you?” Kevin asked, walking to the kitchen. He grabbed a mug, slipped a dark roast pod into the coffee machine, and pressed the button. “You’ve been out of it all day. Something’s wrong?”
Joss felt guilt wash over him. “It’s nothing. Just… work.”
He lied, pulling Miso onto his lap. The Pomenarian’s leg kicked in delight when he scratched its belly, tongue lolling to the side.
“Work?”
Kevin came back with two steaming mugs and sat on the couch. Joss took his cup and immediately burned his mouth, earning an unimpressed look from Miso when he stopped petting him.
Kevin scratched his head, thinking. Then, his eyes lit up with understanding, and a grin crept on his face. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, eyes gleaming with mischief.
“Oooh. You mean your crush. Did you make out yet?”
Joss forced a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Not quite, bro. Not quite.”
He had never been a good liar, an ironic fact considering he spent his life pretending to be other people. Playing a character was easy. Concealing his own feelings? Impossible. And Kevin was remarkably skilled in getting information out of people, so, of course, Joss’ feelings hadn’t stayed hidden for long.
“So there’s been some advancement, at least?” Kevin asked, settling back, a foot over his knee.
Joss let out a long sigh, rubbing his temples. “I don’t know, Kev…” He could feel a headache coming. He hadn’t drunk much water that day, and the coffee wasn’t helping. Joss put the cup down with a click. “Every time I think we’re getting somewhere, another wall pops up.”
“What do you mean? You’re partnered now, you caught him checking you out… Did you at least try to make a move?”
Joss slumped.
“I did… and got rejected. Again.”
Kevin’s jaw dropped.
“What! Really? Man, I didn’t know you lacked game like this. What’s that handsome face even for?”
Joss grimaced. “Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up.” He said, mouth twisting in an unhappy line. “He said he doesn’t want to mix work and his personal life… So yeah, I’m screwed.”
Kevin studied him for a long beat, took a sip, then nodded gravely. “Yeah. You’re screwed.”
“Thanks, man. Way to cheer me up.”
“Sorry, but it’s valid,” Kevin said, lifting a shoulder. “He’s protecting himself and probably you too. He must really want this to work. You said he had a thing with a coworker before, right?”
Kevin stared at him with an expression that reminded Joss of their long tutoring hours, Kevin patiently dissecting concepts till they were drilled into Joss’ brain. He suddenly felt young again. Small. And dumb.
“Yeah,” he admitted, breaking eye contact and focusing on the dog on his lap instead.
“So that makes total sense.”
Joss’ shoulders sagged. Miso, seeing his distress, pushed his wet nose against his calf, whining softly. Joss stroked his fur absentmindedly.
He was stuck. Maybe that was a sign to take his heart back. Gawin didn’t want it anyway.
“Why don’t you invite him here?”
Joss blinked. “What?”
“Yeah. Invite him to steak night with us,” Kevin said, snapping his fingers as the idea solidified. “If he gets to know you better, if he sees how serious you are, he might change his mind. Show him that no matter what happens between you two, it won’t mess with your careers.”
Joss considered the suggestion. It wasn’t a bad idea. But… would it work?
On one hand, it felt manipulative, like he was luring Gawin into something he hadn’t signed up for. On the other hand, they did need to get closer, at least professionally. If nothing else, it would help their partnership.
He’d just have to be himself. He wasn’t hiding anything. He just needed to see him clearly.
Maybe that would be enough.
***
When Joss was fourteen, he fell in love with cats.
For years, he’d thought he was a dog person. He liked their loyalty, their energy, the way they looked at you as if you were their whole world. Dogs were devoted companions, always to follow without question. Joss loved all animals, but he’d always had a soft spot for canines and imagined he’d one day adopt a dog or two.
Then, one day after school, a friend who’d just bought a new video game invited him over. Joss knew this friend had a cat, but the little ball of gray fur and blue eyes that greeted them at the door left him speechless. It was the cutest thing that he’d ever seen. Before he could react, the kitten bolted, disappearing behind a furniture, and never to be seen again that day.
“Oh, that was Pearl. She’s a bit shy,” his friend said, tossing his backpack on the floor. When he saw Joss’ searching gaze, he added, “You’re not allergic to cats, are you?”
Joss shook his head and sat down as his classmate powered the PlayStation. The cat never came back.
The next few times Joss visited, the cat grew a little braver. At first, she would dash through the room from one corner to the next. Then, she started lingering in the doorway while they played. Joss would sneak glances at her, careful not to move too fast, afraid he might scare her away.
One day, his friend caught him staring longingly at the feline and smirked.
“If you want her to like you, you gotta court her, bro.” He came back from the kitchen with a little plastic tube, tore the top open, and slapped it in Joss’ hand. “‘Here. Cat food. Feed her.”
It worked.
After several long minutes of patience, Pearl finally padded toward him, cautious and elegant, to lick the treat. Joss held perfectly still, his arm so stiff the muscles burned, but a huge grin spread across his face.
Step by step, Pearl began to trust him. She started letting Joss pet her while he fed her. Then she began greeting him at the door, brushing her soft fur against his legs, twirling her tail around him. Eventually, she grew so comfortable that she would jump straight onto his lap the moment he sat down, purring as he scratched behind her ear.
And when she looked at him, Joss could swear there was pure affection shining in those ocean-blue eyes.
Earning a cat’s trust took time and patience, but in the end, it was worth every effort.
***
A few days after the tea party, Joss and Gawin agreed to meet at Kevin’s place for dinner.
Joss had texted him the address earlier, and the family was already gathered in the living room, the table set, and the barbecue smoking on the balcony. The scent of charcoal drifted through the air as Kevin grilled some vegetables on the side.
Joss placed a glass on the table, feeling oddly nervous.
It wasn’t like Gawin was meeting his parents, and they weren’t even in a relationship, but Kevin was more than a friend. He was family.
It mattered that everyone got along.
Introducing Gawin to Kevin and his family meant something. It was like bringing him a step deeper into his world, to know the real Joss, outside the sets, courts, lights… outside the image.
His phone buzzed in his pocket. Expecting Gawin to arrive any minute, Joss stepped outside without checking the screen, Miso trotting faithfully at his feet.
Once at the bottom of the building, he pulled out his phone. It wasn’t a text from Gawin but a Line notification from an unknown number.
Intrigued, he opened it. The profile picture showed a woman’s tanned back, the sun glinting on bare skin and long, windblown hair. A single blue string was tied into a bow, hinting at a bathing suit.
Joss raised an eyebrow, thumb hovering over the delete button.
It looked like spam, maybe a scam or an overzealous fan who’d somehow found his number. But then, his eyes landed on the first line of the message:
Hey, Sammy gave me your number…
Joss blinked in disbelief. Sammy.
Of course.
His colleague-slash-matchmaker had again decided to play Cupid. She was always trying to set him up, insisting he was “too serious” and needed to “loosen up”. Joss didn’t think he was uptight, just focused, but even if none of her matches had worked out, her track record wasn’t bad. Many of their friends had found love through her. And if his heart wasn’t already elsewhere, it might have worked for him too.
“Hey!”
A familiar voice made him look up. Gawin was walking towards him in lazy strides, a plastic bag in one hand and a guitar case slung over his shoulder.
Joss slipped his phone back into his pocket, forgetting all about the text. His focus zeroed on Gawin’s bright smile.
They met halfway, Joss instinctively taking the bag from his hand. For a second, they hesitated. A small awkward shuffle and uncertain smiles, before settling for a half-hug that was too brief, too stiff… Too careful.
Joss peeked inside the plastic bag: a six-pack of beer and a can of juice, which was, without a doubt, for Bella.
“You told me not to bring anything, but…” Gawin trailed off.
As usual, Joss couldn’t quite read him.
On the surface, Gawin was his usual easygoing self.
Joss studied him as he crouched to greet Miso, who immediately fell in love with him. The tiny dog pressed its head into Gawin’s palm, tail wagging furiously. Joss snorted. Gawin’s charms even worked on animals.
“It’s great, thanks,” Joss said, smiling. “I’m glad you could make it tonight. You’re not going to regret it. Kevin makes the best steaks.”
Side by side, they walked quietly back to the apartment. The sky had already deepened to indigo, bugs fluttering around the lampposts.
Their strides were slow, shoes scraping softly against the concrete, neither of them in a hurry to end the moment. Probably for different reasons. Joss didn’t know what Gawin was thinking, but for him it was simple. He just wanted to savor the warmth of having Gawin beside him. For a few minutes, he could forget everything else: the doubts, the tension, the hurt.
For a few minutes, being together was enough.
“You guys do this often?” Gawin asked as they entered the apartment complex.
“Yeah, a few times a month.”
“That’s cool. It’s like a tradition. I’ve never had something like that with my friends.”
“You do now.”
Gawin smiled, nose scrunching in amusement. “Are you sure they’re okay with me being here?”
“Of course. They’re going to love you, especially Bella. She already thinks you’re handsome.”
Gawin laughed.
“If I’d known, I would’ve dressed better,” he joked, glancing down at his loose shirt and slides.
Joss shot him a quick look. “You always look good.”
Then, realizing what he’d just said, he turned away, throat tight, and walked inside the apartment, “We’re here!”
When Kevin’s wife, Fai, came to greet them at the door, Gawin’s ears were a deep shade of pink.
***
The night went smoothly, the family falling into their usual routine as they bantered and teased Joss. Gawin, who had at first stayed quietly at the table, was soon roped into barbecuing with Kevin, and somehow, they seemed to have bonded.
He still held a shy, stiff arch to his back, but he looked happy. At ease. Feeling warmth spread through his chest at the sight of Gawin fitting so beautifully with his second family, Joss sighed.
It was easier to move past the palpable tension that hung between them when they could focus on other people. Maybe Kevin was right. He often was. Maybe slowly bringing Gawin into his circle, into his life, would put things in a different light. Maybe it would loosen his guard.
Fai was in the kitchen cutting fruits while Joss entertained Bella. Distracting the little girl while her parents prepared dinner was usually his job.
“You know that Kevin is telling him all your secrets right now, right?” Fai said with a grin.
Joss stacked another LEGO on top of Bella’s tower. The bricks were large and pastel colored. They had been playing this game for a while now. Joss built a tall tower, and Bella bulldozed it with her tiny hands and feet, giggling.
“I know,” he sighed, smiling. “It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
Fai snickered, the sound of her laughter almost in sync with the rhythm of her knife slicing mangoes and apples. She threw a quick glance toward the balcony, where Kevin was babbling excitedly while Gawin listened, eyes crinkling with amusement. The glass door separating the balcony from the living room was closed to keep the smoke out, so the two men’s voices came through only as muffled hums.
“Kevin told me you two are having a hard time these days, but it’s going well tonight, isn’t it?” she asked, her tone soft.
Joss knew that she was, without a doubt, aware of everything he’d told Kevin about his feelings for Gawin and the current state of their relationship. Fai and Kevin didn’t keep anything from each other, so it was a given that anything Joss told Kevin would reach her too. At first, it had been disconcerting, even annoying, but as he grew older, Joss understood. They were a unit. The two halves of the same coin. He had come to admire their bond. But that night, admiration soured into envy. He hoped he could have a partnership as strong as theirs one day.
Fai didn’t look up as she slid the fruit into a bowl and sprinkled several powders into the mix. Joss recognized the scents of vanilla and cinnamon. She patiently waited for Joss to open up.
At least she always had the grace to pretend she didn’t already know the deepest torments of Joss’ heart. Kevin was an amazing mentor, another older brother whose wisdom was incomparable, but there were things that he couldn’t help Joss with. That was when Fai stepped in.
When Joss’ only answer was an evasive hum, Fai continued, “Sometimes, you just need to let time do its wonders.”
Bella was getting bored with their game, so he left Bella to her toys and joined Fai in the kitchen. He sat in a high chair, took a bowl from her hands, and started mixing the vinaigrette and vegetables. Joss was a terrible cook. He didn’t recognize half the spices Fai had tossed into the sauce, but stirring ingredients in a bowl that, that he could manage.
“He obviously cares about you, or he wouldn’t be there,” Fai said, thanking him with a smile. She rested her elbows on the island and dropped to eye level.
“I know it’s hard for you right now,” she continued gently. “But this is one of those moments where you need to let things happen, to let go. Many of us wish we could control other people’s emotions, but when it comes to love… that’s just not possible, no matter how hard you try. Be there for him, and if it’s meant to be – when he’s ready – he’ll come to you.”
Joss glanced at the two men veiled by a cloud of smoke. Kevin had let Gawin handle the grill, a clear sign that he’d been accepted into their family. Gawin’s laughter echoed through the class. Joss fought the yearning pooling in his chest, feet shifting on the tiled floor. He wanted to join them, laugh with them… be with him. He couldn’t give up.
Later, as the night came to an end, Gawin’s fingers strummed over his guitar at his friends’ request. Joss let himself watch. Gawin’s mellow voice carried through the room, commanding every ear. Bella was nodding off on Joss’ lap, a finger in her mouth, fighting sleep so she could keep watching him too. Joss rocked her gently, and she pressed her little head to his chest. He knew he was watching Gawin with as much admiration as she was, probably even more. Their gazes met over her head, and for that fleeting moment, Joss had never felt more at home.
Who was he to demand more?
This is enough, he found himself thinking for the second time that night.
This felt like a fire warming him through the cold of the night. This was love, and if he had to be in love all by himself, so be it. He wouldn’t trade these moments for the world. Joss was already in too deep.
And maybe, his chest felt a little hollow. But that was fine.
Letting go wasn’t the end of the world. It wasn’t giving up. Letting go was savoring the present moment, enjoying the chills running up his skin as Gawin kept singing.
Maybe letting go was just another way of saying believe.