Chapter 12

Joss glanced at his watch, pacing his apartment, luggage ready by the door. He was waiting for Gawin.

A loud gasp in his AirPods made him wince.

“So, you two are going on a camping trip? Alone? Man, that’s some Brokeback Mountain shit. That tent is going to shake like crazy,” Luke cackled through the earpiece.

Joss rolled his eyes but smiled at the joke.

“We’re going as friends,” Joss said, scanning his condo one last time for any forgotten essentials.

Luke snorted.

“Yeah, sure. You know damn well someone’s back is getting broken during this trip, and it might be yours.”

“Fuck off.”

“You first.”

A notification popped up on his phone. Gawin was just a few minutes away.

“I’m hanging up, I gotta go.”

“Don’t have too much fun, I don’t wanna see you walking with clutches when you-”

Joss cut the call, shoved his phone in his pocket, grabbed his bag, and left, grumbling about annoying friends.

Though excited about the trip, he also felt apprehensive. It was the first time he and Gawin were going away together. Just the two of them, alone in nature, sharing a small tent.

His mouth went dry at the image.

He bit his tongue, trying to cool his thoughts as Gawin’s car appeared.

They were friends. Just friends.

The silver Honda was parked just steps away from Joss’s building. Gawin, busy with his CD player and orange shades slipped to the tip of his nose, didn’t notice him until Joss knocked on the driver’s window, almost making him drop the CD.

Gawin unlocked the door, moved his backpack beside his guitar, and Joss hopped in, quickly closing the door to keep the cool air in.

“You’re almost on time!” Joss said, bumping his fist against Gawin’s.

“I’m only fifteen minutes late. That’s on time enough,” Gawin said, inserting the CD into the player, which whirred mechanically. That album wasn’t in the usual rotation.

“Yes, that’s why I said almost on time. You’re making progress, good job,” Joss teased before asking, pointing at the CD case. “Is that new?”

Gawin broke into a wide smile and started the engine back, eyes gleaming with enthusiasm. “Yes! I found it on Kaidee! Listen to this.”

Joss buckled up, chuckling. Gawin was probably the only 26-year-old thrifting decades-old albums online.

They hit the road as Gawin recounted the tale of an underappreciated British rock band that changed the music industry.

***

They arrived at the campsite after a two-hour drive.

As they drove, the landscape shifted from high-rises and billboards to endless rows of trees.

Gawin got out of the car, stretching with a groan.

The campground was busy on this sunny weekend, but Gawin had reserved a secluded spot near the forest. It was farther from the facilities, but the privacy was worth the extra walk.

Fresh, earthy scents filled Joss’ nose as he surveyed their spot: a patch of flat grass, surrounded by trees and a rusty fountain as their only water source.

Joss was a cityman. He liked the busy streets, noise, and constant motion. But, having grown up in the south surrounded by mango fields, the scenery reminded him a lot of home.

Smiling, Joss opened the truck and started taking out their camping equipment.

“We can just get the camp settled, and then we could have lunch at the waterfalls,” Gawin said later as he unfolded the tent. “Are you hungry?”

“I’m good,” Joss observed Gawin work on the tent with expertise. There were no hesitations in his movements. “Can I do anything to help?”

Gawin smirked at him, visibly amused by Joss’ lost look.

“Come here,” he said, and with patient words, talked Joss through setting up the camp. He stepped back, guiding him step by step, crouching close beside him. Joss, lips pressed in concentration, followed each instruction. At first clumsy, he soon got the hang of it, and after half an hour, their tent was up.

The two men inspected their handywork, Joss with more pride than he cared to admit.

“I usually use it alone, but it can easily fit two people, don’t worry,”  Gawin said. The tent was indeed not very large. It was blue, with a rounded roof and two mesh windows on each side. They’d covered its floor with an inflatable mattress and draped two unzipped sleeping bags over it. A cute little love nest, Joss thought with a grimace, Luke’s earlier words ringing in his brain and the vision of a tent quaking with obscene sounds flashing behind his eyes.

Joss smiled, the corners of his mouth frozen with tension.

 

***

 

 

Tall, dense trees lined the trail. Teak, Tropical Palm and Banyan trees tangling together, their thick, wiry roots crawling out of the earth like reptiles. Gawin led the way in his sturdy hiking shoes while Joss, in sneakers, had a harder time trudging among the branches, stones, and mounts of dirt that covered their way.

Gawin’s confident back as he climbed easily through the mountain was a striking sight. Joss had always pictured him as a homebody, so seeing him out in these landscapes, marching confidently in the wilderness like a young Indiana Jones, was unexpected. But, in retrospect, it made total sense. He was curious, but reserved; playful, but cherished peace and quiet. So, of fucking course, Gawin was a nature enthusiast with a kink for adventures and exploration.

There was so much they still needed to learn about each other, so many layers to uncover. Gawin was like a Russian doll: open one, and a completely different figure appeared. Getting to know him was an adventure in itself.

The path opened before them as they reached a clearing, the route branching into two. Out of the shade of the foliage, the sun blasted, hot, golden rays. With this view, the murmurs of the waterfalls caressed their ears. They were getting close.

Joss, who had been taking pictures since their arrival with a small, disposable camera, levelled it toward his hiking partner.

“Hey, look over here,” he called, voice carrying easily in the silent forest, and Gawin turned around. At that moment, everything from his posture to the soft curve on his lips radiated ease and serenity. When he spotted the camera pointed at him, his features morphed into a playful expression, eyebrows rising in a defiant grin.

Joss pressed the shutter button.

 

***

 

 

Joss wasted no time, peeled off his shirt and bag, and stepped into the ice-cold water.

The waterfall’s roar was deafening, water crashing against the rocks in an endless race.

Joss shivered, the water enveloping his skin and muscles in a frigid but soothing hug.

There were several waterfalls around their hiking site, but this particular one was in the deeper, denser parts of the forest. Accessible only to the initiated and most courageous, the hike to get to it was tedious, and the visitors – mostly families with young children and tourists – were either unwilling to make the trip or unaware of its existence altogether. When they arrived, the waterfalls were empty, an oasis waiting to be claimed.

Joss swam closer to the fall, stopping right under the spray of water. The fall was divided into three tiers. Stacked like stairs, each basin was full of clear blue water that glimmered under the light. Turning his back to the fall, the water crashing down his back, Joss beamed at Gawin, who was taking his sweet time taking in the scenery.

“What are you waiting for? Get in!” Joss shouted, wiping the water off his face to stare at his friend.

Gawin grinned a wide, wicked smile, then finally stripped down to his swimming trunks. But, instead of joining Joss, he walked along the side of the cliff and began climbing the slippery rocks.

“Hey, be careful,” Joss called out, eyes widening in fear at the prospect of Gawin slipping and cracking his head open on the rocks.

“Yes, mom,” Gawin taunted, and Joss scoffed, quiet and tense as the other man climbed higher and higher. When Gawin finally reached the second basin, Joss let out a relieved breath.

Gawin waded in the water, hissing at its cold bite on his ankles, and flapping his arm, cackling. “There’s only one way to do this,” he declared, stopping at the edge of the cliff. “Scoot over.”

Joss glided away, gazing at Gawin’s silhouette on top of the falls with an incredulous smile.

Joss, out of the way, Gawin, without a second thought, leaped into the water.

He plunged, breaking the surface with a large splash, his head disappearing beneath the surface for a few seconds before he reappeared, brown hair sticking to his forehead and his face flushed, beaming.

“Your turn!”

They took turns diving into the falls, laughter mingling with the roar.

After playing for a while, fingertips and toes withered from staying too long in the water. Gawin got out of the basin and draped a towel around his neck. Head thrown back lazily, and his feet still dipping into the lagoon, a small smile was playing on his lips, peaceful.

Joss, on the other hand, was still reluctant to leave the water and stayed floating on his back. Sighing, he relaxed into the falls’ embrace, adrenaline cooling down as he swayed with the waves.

The thought, that just a few hours prior, he was in a totally different environment, engulfed by city noises and chaos, felt unreal. It was as if Gawin and he had been away for days instead of hours.

“Thanks for inviting me here,” Joss said after a while, swimming to the edge where Gawin was lounging. “I haven’t been to a place like this in years.”

“No problem.” Gawin opened an eye with a simper. “The waterfall wasn’t actually part of the plan. I was just supposed to go on a hike, but since you were coming, I thought we might as well take a plunge.”

Joss smiled, heart swelling. Gawin had changed up his plans for him.

“It was a great idea. I usually don’t leave the city much.”

“I’m the opposite. I try to get out as much as possible. I love Bangkok, but without these nature breaks I’d go insane.”

Joss ran a hand through his damp hair, chuckling.

“I’ve never seen such an introvert. And I thought I was the countryside bumpkin.”

He hauled himself out of the lagoon and sat next to Gawin. Then, taken by a sudden childish urge,  shook the water out of his hair, spraying cold droplets on Gawin’s dry skin, who yelped in affront. It didn’t take long before Gawinw was retaliating, scooping a handful of water and throwing it in Joss’ face.

“There’s nothing wrong with being a country bumpkin,” he said, unsuccessfully dodging another attack. “Someday, I’ll buy a house in the middle of nowhere, and raise chickens and cows.”

Joss raised an eyebrow, halting the game to wipe water from his eyelashes, and snorted. “You have it all figured out already. Gawin the farm boy.”

Gawin raised a disapproving index, shaking his head side-to-side. He squinted, bringing his face closer to Joss’, his expression severe. “No,” he corrected. “Gawin the Cowboy.”

Joss slapped his thighs, bursting into laughter.

“You’d do all that just to be called a cowboy?”

“Absolutely. Gawin the Cowboy has a nice ring to it, huh?” He smirked, stood up and tossed his towel to Joss. “It’s still early, you up to finish the hike?”

“Sure.”

They both quietly put their clothes back on. Gawin, who had been quicker getting changed, patiently waited, holding the straps of his backpack, lost in thought.

“Didn’t forget anything?” Joss asked, zipping his own bag shut.

He glanced at Gawin, whose eyes jumped to Joss’ when he was caught staring.

Gawin shook his head and turned away with a sheepish smile.

Guts twisting, Joss cleared his throat.

Friends. Just friends.

There was something pocking out of Gawin’s hair.

Carefully, Joss walked to him and plucked it free. Gawin, who’d stiffened at Joss’s sudden presence at his back, slowly turned to face him, lifting a magenta pink, puzzled face in his direction.

Joss twirled the loose leaf between his fingers.

“Let’s go.”

 

***

 

 

The viewpoint that overlooked the mountains was breathtaking, and Joss found himself filling his camera with pictures, the number of shots left dwindling rapidly. A lot of them were of the majestic scenery, but most, he wasn’t afraid to admit, had his travelling companion as the focus.

Gawin’s attitude had shifted slightly after they’d left the falls, but Joss couldn’t pinpoint exactly why.

Still, they were having a wonderful time, and even though Joss’s heart still fluttered when Gawin smiled at him, he was slowly becoming content just to be his friend. Months ago, that idea felt suffocating. Now, after so much time together, he realized how much he enjoyed Gawin’s presence for what it was. For his humour, chaotic energy, and inspiring outlook on life. Beyond romance, Gawin was becoming one of his most precious friends, and Joss wanted to keep him close.

Night fell over the camp, the sky darkening to inky blue and covering with tiny splashes of starlight.

Gawin started a fire with dry wood Joss had fetched. Then, Joss, feeling inadequate in his lack of nature skills, volunteered to prepare dinner while Gawin strummed the chords of his guitar.

Dinner, in that case, meant cooking ramen noodles in a small iron pan and cracking a few eggs into the mix.

Looking at the fuming pot with relief, Joss praised himself for not overcooking the noodles. He delicately poured a portion of the soup into a bowl and garnished it with sausages he’d grilled over the fire. On his grocery trip, Gawin had also bought fresh tomatoes, salad and a thick slice of watermelon. Joss cubed the watermelon with a small smile. He had the nagging suspicion that these additions were only for his benefit.

He handed the bowls, and Gawin cracked open two cans of beer. After the long, intense day they’d had, the opulent spread felt like a well-deserved reward.

They clinked their cans of Singha, the cool beer feeling especially refreshing in front of a cracking fire.

Gawin took a bite of noodles before running to the cooler and coming back with a bag of grated cheese, which was certainly more plastic than dairy. He dumped a handful into his ramen and handed the bag to Joss.

“This has to be the unhealthiest shit ever,” Joss grimaced, yet grabbed the bag and did the same.

“Duh. That’s why it’s so good.”

Joss chewed, surrendering. Pleasure never came without pain.

Gawin’s guitar was sitting next to them, lying on a log like a third camper.

“Will you quit acting to focus on music one day?” Joss asked, chopsticks pointing at the instrument.

Gawin tilted his head at the question, thoughtful.

The cicadas were especially loud, their songs carried by the wind through the forest.

“I don’t know. Maybe? Right now, I enjoy both acting and music, but with acting, we can never be sure. My career could crash overnight.” They shared a look. Bad press or a sudden drop in popularity could end it all. This was their reality. “It’d be nice to have an album and all, but I don’t know how much people would want that.”

Joss stilled, hand pausing midair as he was going for a second round of ramen. The eyes he turned toward Gawin were scolding.

“What do you mean? You’re GMMTV’s Ost King. Everybody loves your voice.”

Gawin chuckled.

“Not sure where that nickname comes from, but, uh, if I made an album, I’d like to make all of it. The lyrics, the music, everything,” he said, scratching the back of his neck shyly. “I could get some help from more seasoned composers, but yeah, I’d like everything to be my own.”

A lug cracked in the fire, embers puffing like tiny fireworks.

Joss sat back next to him with his second fill.

“I’m sure you could do that. Have you ever written songs?”

“Mhm, I wrote a couple when I was younger. These days, not so much. With work and everything, I just don’t have the time. I think I would need to be in an environment like this to be inspired. In nature, away from everything.”

Joss nodded. He could totally see that: Gawin spending days in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, his guitar and headphones for only company.

“After My Golden’s blood is released, I bet the company will push you to make an album. Didn’t they ask you to sing for the OST?”

“They did. And we’ll see. Even if it’s never released, I will do it someday anyway. Maybe I will be sixty by then, though,” Gawin said with a laugh.

Joss patted his shoulder in support.

“Let’s make that a little quicker. You promised to sign me the first copy, remember?”

Joss finished his second ramen bowl. He had used four packs in total, but he still felt famished. He picked another particularly well-charred sausage that he’d been eyeing for a while. As soon as they got back to Bangkok, he’d have to fast and drink a ton of water to flush all the salt from his system. He had accepted that when he was with Gawin, his routine sometimes went awry. Every moment mattered. The strain his body went through was well worth the sweet warmth that remained in his chest after they parted.

“Could you sing me something you wrote?” Joss asked, pulling Gawin’s attention back from the dancing flames. His empty bowl sat at his feet, long legs stretched in front of him.

Gawin hesitated.

He grabbed his guitar and set it on his lap, hands hovering over the chords. “Just the melody, alright?”

“Okay,” Joss breathed, excitement bubbling in his chest.

Gawin cleared his throat, straightened his back, and glanced at Joss with a nervous smile. Joss put his plate down and watched as Gawin dove into the music. He was humming under his breath, warm firelight dancing on his face, and his eyes glowing amber.

Joss stared at him, the ghost memory of their first meeting floating in his mind. They had come so far. From Joss noticing Gawin during a vocal class to this moment, nothing had gone according to plan, but Joss wouldn’t change any of it. And for the first time, this song was only for him. No professor Green, no audience, no friends. Just him. The fact that it was Gawin’s made it even more meaningful.

Joss throat tightened. He rubbed his nose, looking away as a wave of emotion rose in his chest.

Quietly, he took out his camera, and for the hundredth time that day, carefully snapped a picture. He would only see the printed image in a few weeks, but he already knew this one was probably one of the best he’d taken so far. A picture that would be valuable no matter its clarity or contrast. Joss’ feelings, captured in time.

More hums than instruments, Gawin’s eyes never left the flames as he played a soft, melancholic ballad.

The last strings strummed, Gawin gave Joss a shy woobly smile before putting his guitar down. He looked visibly shaken, rubbing his sweaty fingers over his pants. He chuckled when Joss clapped.

“That was beautiful, man. Thank you,” Joss said, tempted again to take a picture of Gawin’s coy, adorable pout but deciding against it. “What’s it about?”

Gawin pressed his lips together pensively, his left foot shaking under his crossed legs, as he pondered.

“Evolving?” He said, finally. “Finding new beginnings. A solace.”

 

***

 

 

After a trip to the bathrooms to freshen up and brush their teeth. The two men sat back in front of the fire and kept chatting deep into the night, Gawin even trying to teach Joss a few chords. Hours passed, and even though he had no idea what time it was, Joss was certain he was way past his bedtime when his eyelids started closing on their own. Gawin, on the other hand, a forever night owl, looked wide awake.

Most of the camp was asleep, so they had to keep their voices low to avoid disturbing their neighbours.

With the fire and the proximity, it was a warm, intimate moment that Joss was reluctant to leave for just a few hours of sleep. So he pushed through, fighting to keep his prickly eyes open.

“By the way,” Gawin interjected suddenly – they’d been listing countries they’d wished to visit if they ever got a world tour and what they’d do in each place – “The girl you’re training, Dear, she wasn’t too upset about you cancelling on her?” He asked, his back deep into his foldable camping chair.

He threw a quick glance at Joss, who raised an eyebrow, surprised by the question.

“Uh? No, not at all.”

Gawin nodded, eyes glued to the crackling fire and fingers crossed tightly on his lap.

“Ah. Good. You met her via Sammy, right?”

His voice was calm, almost emotionless, but Joss could taste the tension coating the words. He straightened in his chair, leaning forward, his body twisted toward the guitarist.

“Yeah, she wanted to learn boxing for a role, so Sammy referred her to me,” he explained, measuring his words. Strangely, he felt as if he didn’t trade with caution, things could go very wrong.

“Huh.”

Even through his sleep-hazed senses, Joss heard the bitterness in that sound.

“She’s a good friend,” he added for good measure, but that didn’t seem to do the trick.

“Right,” Gawin said.

Joss blinked rapidly, confused. “Yeah.”

He frowned, staring at Gawin with wide, incredulous eyes.

He’d thought that maybe he had imagined it when Gawin had questioned him about Dear before, but now it was becoming undeniable. Gawin was jealous. Joss’ mouth opened and closed a few times, lost for words, his foggy brain failing to process the situation.

He was finally about to come up with a sentence when Gawin stood up, clapping his thighs in a decisive manner.

“Let’s get you to bed, man. Your eyes are barely open. You better not snore,” he said, heading to the tent and leaving Joss startled and more confused than ever.

 

***

 

 

The tent was already set with two sleeping bags and a thick air mattress.

It was as he crawled on all fours into the tent that Joss discovered how tight the space actually was.

The distance between their sleeping bags was almost nonexistent.

Joss slid under his unzipped bag that he used as a blanket, the thick protection making him feel less self-conscious. He and Gawin had slept in the same bed before, back at his condo. But that night, as well as what had followed, had been rocky. Joss prayed that, for once, his body and mind would cooperate and stay quiet. He didn’t need any more heartbreak, and Gawin’s tense frame beside him was not reassuring.

Joss shuffled, the fabric of his cover bristling with every move.

Narrowness aside, the tent was surprisingly comfortable, the mattress soft under his back. If he hadn’t helped set it up, he’d have never guessed it was resting on dirt and stones.

Gawin was breathing softly beside him, hidden under a cloak of darkness.

The slow rhythm of Gawin’s breath lulling him into sleep, Joss felt his limbs grow heavier as he dozed off. But, just as he was about to fall asleep, an odd tiggling sensation on his cheek made him wince. His eyes snapped open. Startled, Joss yelped when tiny legs began creeping toward his nose. He slapped a hand across his face, startling Gawin, who jerked up beside him.

Joss tossed his blanket to the side, patting his clothes in haste, feeling all of a sudden like bugs were wriggling all over his body.

“What’s wrong?” Gawin asked, turning on a lantern that cast a bright light on Joss’ panicked features.

“Nothing! Just a- a spider, I think,” he croaked.

“Ah,” Gawin smirked. He moved closer to wipe Joss’ back, making sure the guilty insect wasn’t still dangling on his shirt.

“Here!” He said unexpectedly, stretching over Joss’ lap to slap a tissue on the bug that was hiding in a crack near Joss’ side of the mattress. “Got it.”

He held the dead bug up in triumph, chuckling at Joss’ disgusted face.

“Did it bite you?” He asked, visibly amused. He tossed the insect in a trash bag. “It must have slipped into the tent when we got in earlier.”

“No, I don’t think so, thanks,” Joss said, embarrassment colouring his ears, and falling miserably to keep face.

Gawin giggled, turned off the lamp and sank back into a sleeping position. “Go back to sleep, big boy. The bad bug is gone.”

And okay, Gawin was enjoying this a little too much. For lack of better words, Joss tossed his pillow into his face. Gawin groaned in outrage.

“Hey, I just saved you!” he complained, retaliating with a few hits of his own.

“Yes, but you were not very chivalrous about it. What about my dignity, bro?”

Gawin barked a laugh, dropping his pillow aside and bowing with solemnity. “My deepest apologies, milord.”

“That’s better. Apology accepted.”

Panting slightly, Joss lay back in bed, crossing his fingers under his head.

“I’m actually not afraid of bugs, just so you know. I was just startled.”

“Uh-huh. I saw that.”

“It’s true!”

“Yeah, yeah. Sure.”

Joss gave Gawin a light kick on his shin. And the singer pretended to be in pain, hissing over-exaggeratedly. The act ended in a fit of laughter when Joss started to actually look concerned.

“You’re a menace.”

“So, you have said.”

They chuckled quietly, slapping their hands across their mouths to not wake up their neighbouring campers. Joss massaged his cheeks, his jaw cramping from smiling so much.

The crawlies out of mind, he then tried to go back to sleep, but this time, over the blanket, just in case.

The night was warm enough that the duvet wasn’t a necessity, and with the fire and their scuffle, he was starting to feel sweaty. To add to that, he and Gawin had shifted even closer during their fight, their shoulders flushed together. Joss swallowed. Gawin’s skin felt hotter than a furnace, still, Joss didn’t move away.

“Hey,” Gawin’s voice broke the silence once again. “Can I ask you a question?”

Joss’s eyes fluttered open. There wasn’t much to see in the darkness. Yet, when he glanced at Gawin, he could tell that the other man was now facing him.

“Yeah, what is it?”

Gawin took a moment to keep going, gathering his thoughts so long that Joss wondered if he had fallen asleep.

“Are you really okay with this?” Gawin asked, and from the waver in his tone, Joss understood that they had branched into a more serious topic.

He frowned, unsure.

“With things staying like this, between us,” Gawin clarified, and oh, that was where this was going. Joss hadn’t thought this conversation would be brought up again, and if it did, that he would be the one to initiate it.

Joss wet his suddenly very dry lips.

“Yes. I am,” he said sincerely.

Gawin sighed, a low, frustrated sound.

“Why?”

Joss was rendered speechless for a moment. What was he supposed to answer to that? It’s okay because I love you, and being your friend is better than nothing? That wouldn’t do.

“I don’t know,” he said instead. “I like being your friend.”

“Really?” Gawin pressed, moving even closer.

Joss shifted uncomfortably, throat dry.

“Yes. Really.”

“Okay.”

That simple word stirred something inside of Joss. He turned to Gawin and propped his head on his fist, cocking his eyes.

“Hey, are you good?”

“Mh. Yes. I’m-” Gawin shook his head, before taking another tensed exhale. “I’m good.”

Joss’s brow furrowed deeper.

They stayed facing each other in the darkness, Joss intently trying to decipher Gawin’s thoughts, while Gawin’s gaze stayed glued to the mattress.

Outside, a howl hooted into the night, trees whispering as a breeze passed by.

And then, finally, tentatively, Gawin reached toward Joss.

His pinky tickled the back of Joss’ hand, whose breath caught, his heart leaping into his throat.

Gawin’s hands closed over his, warm, calloused fingers, trapping him in a mind-numbing spell that sent his heart racing. Joss trembled when his gaze fell into Gawin’s. His mouth was slightly ajar, his teeth sunk deep into his bottom lip. Blood rushed to Joss’ head, temples throbbing in fluster as he waited, painfully still, for Gawin’s next move. When Gawin ultimately closed the distance, nose brushing against Joss’, his head swam.

Pressing their foreheads together, Gawin shut his eyes, lashes catching Joss’, breath hitching. Then, he kissed him. A quick, light, tentative kiss that made Joss’ toes curl.

Oh, shit, Joss thought, goosebumps rising on his arms and neck.

Gawin kissed him a second time, this time more surely, and when he pulled back, Joss found himself chasing after his touch.

Annoyingly, during that moment that he had waited so long for, Luke’s voice resonated in his mind.

This is some Brokeback Mountain shit.

Hell yes, he thought before diving in, one hand clutching the back of Gawin’s head and the other wrapping around his waist, squashing their bodies together. After that, it was a mess of hurried touches and even more impatient kisses. Joss rolled over, pinning Gawin under his weight as Gawin kissed him back hungrily. A moan slipped out of his mouth when Gawin began moving under him, pressing their hard length together. Hissing, Joss dropped to Gawin’s neck, mouthing the smooth skin, teeth finding Gawin’s Adam’s apple and sucking bruises.

It was intoxicating the way his body reacted to Gawin’s.

The more he touched him, the more he tasted him, and the more he craved.

Shivering, his face mushed against Gawin’s, Joss inhaled. Cheap, musky deodorant, laundry detergent and pines. Perfect.

The sound of lips against skin and creasing sheets filled the tent, drowning out the cicadas, as they grinded messily. Joss gazed at Gawin’s pleasure-torn features in awe. He couldn’t believe this was happening, that Gawin was finally opening up to him. Writhing under him, his fingertips were digging into Joss’ back, his other hand firmly clutching Joss’ ass, urging him to move faster.

“Fuck,” Joss blurted when Gawin shoved his hand under his waistband, but he was silenced with another kiss, Gawin drinking his whimpers as he stroked him. Lava pooling in his guts, Joss let his body fold into pleasure. It was so good, so hot, the bliss building so strong, that Joss wasn’t sure he’d survive another day without these sensations anymore. Without a second thought, he shoved his shorts and boxers down and helped Gawin wriggle out of his. Then, with shaky fingers, he circled both of their erections, whizzing at the delicious friction.

Gawin’s hips buckled under him.

“More,” he sobbed, moving frantically, leaking over Joss’ palm.

Joss bit his tongue to prevent himself from coming apart right there.

In a trance, he obeyed, fingers gliding faster and tighter around them.

Memsrised by Gawin’s shiny, bruised lips, Joss caught them between his teeth.

Gawin’s moans were exhilarating, a chant that was slowly driving Joss to madness. The husky sighs enveloped him like a siren song, daring him to dive deeper. But Joss knew that, if he sank further, he’d never find himself again.

Without warning, an orgasm of a rare intensity shook his body, pleasure shooting out in long strands, as he quacked, legs giving out. Gawin quickly followed, a strangled cry escaping from his throat. Yet, Joss kept chasing every last drop of release, stroking the heat till Gawin started squirming beneath him, overstimulated.

“Joss…” Gawin whimpered against his mouth, voice breaking.

He looked wrecked, satisfied, and wonderful.

I did that, Joss thought proudly as he went for another kiss, drinking in each delicious sound till he was drunk with it.